I like to think it a success when the cops are called
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Four minutes until I can fart!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
