I want to have your abortion
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
