I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
