Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
