We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
