part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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