You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
