Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
