If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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