I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
