Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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