Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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