There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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