I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
