When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
