I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Randomize
