After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
