What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
