She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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