did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
