Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
