i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
