Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
