I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize
