My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
When did angry sex become our thing?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
