I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
