he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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