I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
