no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
