We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
