So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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