Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
