I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
When did angry sex become our thing?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
