it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
