i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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