I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
My penis needs a shock collar
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
