yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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