some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
