you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
ugly people sure do ruin things
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
