So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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