you guys were way drunker than both of me
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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