bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
