I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
