Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
