so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
