He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
