So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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