ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
