i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
