you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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